i was wrong

thought that i can move on, but i was wrong :'( everytime aku with ia or becontact with ia, all i ever think is that, he's danny. even tah rasa sayang arahnya pun, sikit saja, not as much as i loved danny. Ya Allah, stress ku ehh :'( if i could just see him for the last time, i'd really want to. but, he seems like avoiding me. email ku macam ia block, inbox/wall ku inda ia balas, poke ku ia remove. aku tau aku hina dimatamu. aku hancurkan hidup mu, siapa jua inda sasak urang cam aku ni kan? but, if i have one more chance to fix it right, i'd be thankful. i just wish you're by my side, i miss you so bad :'( im sorry :'( and i still love you, danny :'(

my sister, ayu and brother, arif is a douche bag!!!!!!!!

SEMUA PASAL AYU! BUDUHHHHHHHHH!

15/12/2010, wednesday. n said he wanted to see me. he said ia kan kerumah, so i told mama. mama said okay. and so does kaka.

so ia sampai then mula2 kami dluar rumah, crita2 pasal ia inda berani masuk. then ku bawa masuk rumah then ke bilik tamu. then cerita2 beibun2 batah laa jua. then mama panggil makan and it was like 10pm labih sudah, ia akhir dtg malam atu, maklum jauh, dari rimba. so akhirlah jua balik. then time makan, ayu buka pintu bilik tamu then tukar lampu kuning jadi putih, at first inda kami peduli. then time kami minum2, ayu buka pintu dining room and said "bah, akhir sudah ni" and we were like "WHATTTTTTTTTTTT?!!!!" then ku balaslah "au, kajap lagi ia balik ni.." then ayu ketempat tv. me and him were like penyeluru ia and its obvious, n sasak arah ayu. hahahahahaha. bf i panat, becali saja krajanya. haha. so n salam mama then we both keluar. masa keluar we both salam2 then masa besalam atu, n nampak ayu otw kan ke ceramin, kan menyubuk. and again we were like, "WHATTTTTTTTT?! SIAL KALI!!!!!" so ia gave me him lemon tea then balik. aku masuk rumah then masuk bilik then buka fb, and what i see is this




"Ayu Hanesah
I DON'T LIKE HAVING STRANGERS IN MY HOUSE
Wednesday at 9:52pm · LikeUnlike · Comment

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Sasha Chloe Z likes this.
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Nudiya Nadhirah Johny siapa eh. :O)
Wednesday at 10:00pm · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah little sis' guy friend. A major no no. grr!
Wednesday at 10:02pm · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid mama nada kah?
Wednesday at 10:03pm · LikeUnlike
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Nudiya Nadhirah Johny :O)
Wednesday at 10:04pm · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid yang hari atu kah?buat apa tah ia sana atu.tidur sana kali?
Wednesday at 10:11pm · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid yang hari atu kah?buat apa tah ia sana atu.tidur sana kali?
Wednesday at 10:12pm · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid yang hari atu kah?buat apa tah ia sana atu.tidur sana kali?
Wednesday at 10:12pm · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah entaheh, pernah ya datang kan? ni dalam bilik tamu ah akher sudah jua ni
Wednesday at 10:13pm · LikeUnlike
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Nyna Azleen anu yg cure supaya nda jadi sakit atu kah yu ?
Wednesday at 10:14pm · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid yang masa raya atu bah.siapa dangan nya sana?mama di bilik tamu jua?
Wednesday at 10:15pm · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah Inda, mama di blik sebalah, ani adik yang seorang basar atu, sakit kepala ku babu nina
Wednesday at 10:17pm · LikeUnlike
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Nyna Azleen ohhhhhh get it ;O
Wednesday at 10:19pm · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid kawan siapa kan ni sebenarny?
Wednesday at 10:20pm · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah qilah bah, cubatah babah disini
Wednesday at 10:21pm · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid brapa orang kawan nya di rumah?bagi tau si qilah aku cakap ahir sudah ni.bagi tau aku pukul brapa ia balik.
Wednesday at 10:25pm · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah sudah ku bgtau akher sudah
Wednesday at 10:31pm · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah seorang lelaki berumur 20an , tua sudah kalah kaka kali
Wednesday at 10:35pm · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid balum ia balik?
Wednesday at 10:55pm · LikeUnlike
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Hani Maltesers sudah
Wednesday at 11:00pm · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah balik sudah, platenya inda ku liat, inda ku pkai spect, tapi kreetanya tucson hitam
Wednesday at 11:19pm · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid kau ckap tadi.aku yang ckap atu?
Wednesday at 11:21pm · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah inda, ......
Wednesday at 11:21pm · LikeUnlike
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Rafiuddin Latif jangan bising bah aku mau tidur ni ! kecoh !
23 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Hani Maltesers
Ayu Hanesah and Arif Hamid - SORRY sorry sorry.....(ani MAMA).....Dengan izin Allah, Dengan Ikhlas dan rendah hati, mama minta AMPUN dan MAAF banyak2 apa saja kekurangan yang kamu dpt dari mama, hanya yang termampu saja dpt mama berikan unt...uk semua....... Now that i Know what U both are doing......... JUST KICK ME OFF so everyone will be happy to the fullest.................. "SELFISHNESS... KILLS"....... sth to be thought.

Whatever it is, Thank you for making my life with happiness.See More
4 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah
no no don't be, now you're sorry? or youre sorry cuz u feel offended? now you ACTUALLY BROWSE THRU YOUR KID'S PROFILE, why dont u take a look at the otherkids' ;) see what they are up to? why why why? why do u have to bring up about what u... hve given and what u have NOT given, it doesnot even have anything to do WITH THIS, OBVIOUSLY. so are you saying im ungrateful? just become i mentioned babah??so ure saying i favor babah? so are u saying ure feeling useless as a parent seeing such comment? so are you saying tht im putting all the blame on you? well partly, cuz i know for a fact,if he was there he'd not do anything about it too, only thing is tht i was kinda HOPEFUL, tht if he was there, he maybe cud have done smething, MAYBE, JUST MAYBE. NO URE NOT A USELESS PARENT, only thing istha about lastnightt , at least you could have done something about it, i may not be a good example to my sisters,i go out late at night, god knows what im doing, i know i brought over my guy firneds at home, but at least its not 10pm in the evening, at least everyone at home cud see what were doing. i understand if u cudnt do anything about it just cuz u dont want to be like bias? tht i can bring over my friends and she cant? i understand tht, I REALLY UNDERSTAND, thts why im not even blaming u entirely, U SEE CUZ ITS MY FAULT TOO, AND U SEE, ITS TOTALLY NOTALL ABOUT U, but u have every reason to take care of them, to guide them,
What we're doing? what are we doing exactly? hmm let me tell you what we are doing, we don't want anymore anak luar nikah? get it? get it? so whatt do u say? are u saying tht we should just mind our own business? and let her getoff that easy? and the next thing u know, she pops out a baby? whos gona take care of tht? you? whos gona pay for the amah's salary? her? or you? or babah?
Dont whatever whatever it is, u cudnt even ssay this straight to my face, this is not about u, this is about her, dont take out the drama on us alone, why dont take it out on her? why do u have to make 'this drama' all about u, when its clearly not, u truly have misunderstood me,
look no one's really blaming u, screw those nosy people, u dont have to listen to their bad judgemnts, for all i know whoever it is close to us, i know for sure they'll understand.
yea im the bad daughter now, saying harsh thing to her mum, well sorry IF I DID THE WRONG THING THAT IS shooING AWAY whoever he is lastnight, is tht even wrong? im sorry? do u know him? WELL i dont, i really dont.the truth is, im not fond of having strangers at home ;)

sorry, your loving daughter hanisah amirah.See More
2 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah yea i understand too the need to defend her like any mother would do when she seems hopeless, lets just see,
2 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah and actually, this is not about making anyone happy, really its not, if anyone needs to be happy, thts you maybe, just maybe. i who's selfish anyway? are u saying me? is teaching her a lesson is equivalent to selfishness? i really dont get u, i really dont get why i have to talk about selfishness in the first place? i guess u have taken things waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to the heart. ure not even a bad mother, my friends even think ure awesome just to let u know~ ;)
2 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah nada manis macamani ani, nosy ppl will always have smething to say about this, tpi jua thts their dusa, the dusa is on them
about an hour ago · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah seemingly u hve to go thru this as a single parent, in the name of Allah, i understand tht too, really if anyone would see it too, no ones gona blame oneself one-sidedly, theres always the other side of the story


ANDDDD.. .



Hani Maltesers
Sadar kah indaaaa??? Minta seliparrrr??
Wednesday at 11:10pm · Friends Only · LikeUnlike · Comment · View Feedback (14)Hide Feedback (14)

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Dania Batrisyia and Dewa David Fung like this.
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Arif Hamid balum lagi orang atu?
Wednesday at 11:13pm · LikeUnlike
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Hani Maltesers sudah balikk
Wednesday at 11:15pm · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid siapa kan tu orang atu.apa kerita nya?sama plate nya.
Wednesday at 11:18pm · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading...
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Meera Hamid kawan ku saja tu, jan kan over reacting. hal kamu inda ku sibuk. ya datang tadi sudah ku gtau mama. mama inda melarang. mind your own business :)
Wednesday at 11:22pm · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid hal mu pebaik cur.pernah kau mliat aku mbawa bini bini krumah??pakai utak sikit.umur mu atu brapa baru?sedia sedai saja kau mun ku balik..
Wednesday at 11:38pm · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid
mama mu atu ku kirim salam eh telampau baik hati ah.tapuk tapuk kah kau dapan dapan kah kau.masih jua palui ny kau atu.handal lah prasan mu tu dapat lelaki bekraja?prasan mu orang bkraja ani brakal sudah kah?palui saja ada dari berakal.pern...ah ku angap kamu adi bradi ku kan?basar tah sudah perasan mu tu mbawa lelaki kerumah atu?mun skadar bkraja inda jua sberapa.cakap tah brapa gaji nya ah yang kau bangga kan ah?mun ganya biasa biasa gaji ny atu.nda jua sbrapa..bapa sudah kau bagitau?mun mama saja kau bagitau.aku mbagitau kan bapa ah..jangan tah watir.walau tah awal ani ni ku mbagitau kanSee More
Yesterday at 12:25am · LikeUnlike
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Arif Hamid batah jua kau kan mbalas ani.takut kau?orang palui andang penakut kah?mun kan belawan cakap sama aku sedia kan saja utak mu yang pandai ah.jgn kau pikir aku sorang sorang ganya di rumah atu utak ku ani buduh
11 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · LikeUnlike
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Hani Maltesers kenapa kan kau? bisai jua mulut mu .. talor2.. indung mu jua tu lui.. mun ada apa2 siapa kau cari??? bapa? mama jua!! jgn kan setaie sana atu..
5 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Hani Maltesers
Assalamualaikum bang.
Waalaikumsalam, mama balas salam mu. Sorry for being not a good Mama for you. Wpun mama ani KAMU liat mcm apa, tapi semua yang ada di rumah ani = anak mama. Kan meliat siapa yang berakal, berotak whatsoever, bukan ...mcm ani cara kamu.......Minta maaf, Demi Allah mama inda mama izinkan bila siapa saja menganggap mana-mana anak mama sepertimana yang disabut-sabut arah ruang chat kamu ani........ MINTA AMPUN DAN MAAF DUNIA AKHIRAT segala salah silap mama arah semua anak-anak mama, kelalaian mama dan ketidak mampuan mama mendulur apa saja mau kamu........mama tau siapa mama .................

Untuk rasa tanggungjwb, silakan gtau bpa kamu, inda jua salah. Kalau pun kan mau tau lebih lanjut pasal hal yang satu atu pun..... He is the right person to know better. Thank you jua ada rasa tanggungjwb pi lebih bisai kalau dibuat secara ikhlas dan cara yang baik.

(Untuk SEMUA anak-anak mama, belajarlah jadi org yang berfikir dan jgn terlalu memandang tinggi diri sendiri.......)
FACEBOOK, U use it for good deeds will be beneficial, Otherwise it will revelas WHO and WHAT U are!!!!!!!!..............use wisely.. RUBBISH......... (Sekian Mama yang nada apa2) Minta ampun dan maaf atas segala kesalahan mama terhadap kamu semua.

Sayang untuk semua.See More
4 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Ezam Idraki *speechless*
4 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah
is tht it r u thinkin too much pasal cana kan mendulur anak? jangan tah kan mikir untuk mendulur, thts the starting point of this tu mendulur2 atu..the way i see it ;) sorry ma,

correct me if im wrong

awu sorry i talkedyg inda spatutnya pas...al mama, but u know, i just cudnt think of a btter way to react to tht. u scolded aci's girl dlu, so i take back my words ' mama MACAM BIASA' yang atu tu, although its too late, but i swear, i never curse i never swear, i never use fault words to dscribe u

awu, babah lgi hopeless dri mama I THINK, but i was hopeful tht if he was there, I THOUGHT HE MAYBE CUD HAVE DONE SOOMETHING, MAYBE MAYBE, SINCE HES THE FATHER, i thought! i thought, thts natural for a child to think of it tht way dont u think so? i thought ' if he was here, at least he maybe cud be THAT SOMEONE who would stop tht nonsense since NO ONE WAS STOPPING HER, at least.

of course mama inda mengizinkan but ur action mengizinkanSee More
56 minutes ago · LikeUnlike
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Ayu Hanesah kalau aku lah, ani akulah, BAGIKU,apa yang ku buat atu shooing lakilaki atu, nada kan tunjuk barakal kah berotak apa, nada langsung, NADA KU TEFIKIR MACAM ATU AH, IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, yea i used to boast tht i got good grades but before, remember? i think tht was just last year, &i sort of learned from it, .yea she can have bf and stuff, but at tht rate, i dont think thts respectable, or umm nice?



WHAT THE HELL RIGHT??????!!!!!! SALAHKAH KU BAWA BF KU JUMPA MAMA? MUN JELES IKUTKAN WAHHHHHHHHH!! FUCK YOU LAH KAMU DUA, ARIP AND AYU. LUAN2 CONTROLLING!!! I AM NOT YOUR DAUGHTER REMEMBER! MAMA INDA MELARANG, BUDUUUHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

AND P/S; HE 21, YOUNGER THAN KAKA AND ARIF! JANGAN CAKAP INDA TANTU PASAL IA KALAU INDA KENAL IA! HE'S MINE. IF AKU SAMA IA, MASA DEPAN, TATAP AKU SAMA IA YANG PUNYA. INDA JUA IF AKU SAMA IA, SAMA DEPAN, KAU YANG PUNYA. BUDUH! MANA UTAK ATUKAN????? ITS MY DECISION TO CHOOSE WHO'S THE PERSON NOT YOU! AKU PILIH, AKU SUKA, AKU PUNYA!!!! JANTAH KAN SIBUK!! ANI LUAN2 BUDUH NYA!! BOTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOUU! PRASAN PERFECT, MIHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

moving on :)

its 12/12/2010 and we are officially together!! yeay! :p i love you, N! *do not stand for 'najib'* haha. at first i thought he was kidding, but rupanya banar! hehe. i knew him batah pulang sudah *not so batah* like, 4to5months. he is/was a friend of 'HIM' gilee! haha.

payah caranya mempropose atu, banyak tanya. but worth good. hehe. the reason ia banyak tanya is because, he keep on asking wether i sanggup tunggu ia if ia masuk rekrut *which is soon, but dont know when* sanggup setia, honest and open with him and sanggup spend the rest of my life, with him. ia cakap, i will be the last person he would ever love. hehehe. he said, kalau ia keraja, aku will be the only and last pasangan hidupnya. Since ia cakap cematu, i'll try not to disappoint him down. if yes i disappoint him down, i'll blame my self and it'd be my fault.
oh, and 1 thing, he's the type yang suka sukan, which is, kurus! *sadang2* and i am, gamuuuk! hahaha, abis lah aku~ haha, nadadeh, he said ia terima aku seadanya, and aku terima ia seadanya. hehe. i sayang you love!



my ex, d. i think i loved you enough right? i gave you everything. yet, you let me go. life gotta move on, and i should have move on from the very beginning you broke me up, but i didnt. instead, i'm still stuck on for you, 'waiting' for you to come, but you don't. he showed up into my life and shine me up, always put a smile on my face, selalu buatku happy, like you did. but the problem is, i think, i'm just sick of waiting. kalau aku recall balik our memories between me and you, all i ever did was waiting. even after you broke me up, aku still tunggu. but i stop sudah, sick berabis of waiting. i've moved on. You said we canstill be friends right? :) and i'm sorry for everything...

i miss him, badly!

cried membaca balik this thingy :'(


"Dann Dinn Donn, baby buat our conversation uh malu eh~ hehe.. Missing u already mau blik wa~ huhu i love u Qilah ure so sweet! ♥"

"Dann Dinn Donn, to Kwn2 meera yg bge Comment. Pls do me a favor can u all Look After my BabyQILAH makesure ea happy2 dsna no crying.. N thanks u all nanti belanja.. If ea ngurat pulas tinganya :p sowe hunny hehe"

GILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! :"""""""'(

i hate you!

ragu ragu, buat then menyasal. i feel like shit! i was fooled like, entah eh. he's such a sweettalker. god, i hate you! :'( i am just speechless right now, huhuhu :'( i really need someone to talk to, but i don't have anybody lagi. bestfriend ku entah kemana. segala kawan kawan ku entah kemana. Apatah lagi danny, semua, entah kemana. i really miss danny. i wish i could see him or hear his voice, like old times. damn, STRESSSSS! :"""(

can i just die now? i'm sick of this life. sanak ku, SANAK :""( stress!

loyalty

"i, as one of the member, infact, the youngest and the only girl other than kaka in the member, promise that i will treat everybody nice, and as a family. and, i also promise not to date or flirt with any of the member, to prevent fights with eachother." -i promised the crew. so m', lupa my promise to them and you? you are my brother. no fighting please :')
remember last year before i promised to you guys apa jadi? i did not want it to happen lagi okay.

stress'out! :'(

this is too much for me. i could go crazy thinking of it whole day. too much pressure. i'm sorry for what i've did in my past, i'm really sorry. i know its unacceptable, ganya pasal past ku kau cemani, manasajatah. dudee, I CAN'T CHANGE MY PAST! :''''( I'M SORRY! masa aku bagitau kau dulu, kau okay. now, kau ungkit ungkit pasal apa ku pernah buat sama ia, sakit rasanya. i wish you know how i feel. selama ani, aku anggap kau abg ku and kawan ku, inda labih! inda jua ku kan sekajap mata saja move on lupakan danny. i need more time. jangan paksa aku, aku inda suka :'( entah eh, stress ku! i can't barely stand up straight. paning ku, paning! migraine gila ni. and thanks for the slap you just gave me tadi. my mouth bleed tadi, but its okay. thank you so much for your time.



Do take note, I CAN'T CHANGE MY PAST, okay? If i could, i'd change it jadi better, but i can't. i'm sorry. stop ungkitungkit pastku. pastmu nada ku ungkit :'(